Part 2: Texas Rangers
The next stop on our cavalcade of taxpayer palaces is Arlington, the hyphen in the Dallas-Fort Worth metro area. We’re going here next because the venue is in danger of soon meeting the wrecking ball, on account the old ballyard has already been hosting pro ball for more than two whole decades.
Among the very first of the retro parks, it was long known by the clunky The Ballpark in Arlington, a name that would fit nicely in front of a gated subdivision, a place the McMansions Suck woman would ridicule. The Chalets on Kensington. The Cottages of Red Hill. The Ballpark in Arlington. It has sported two other forgettable names before landing its current moniker, the even clunkier Globe Life Park in Arlington. All of the iterations have what must be a city-mandated “in Arlington” appendage. I doubt any makes the cut in our exercise.
However, coming up with a suitable replacement might be a little tricky, given the location. Arlington doesn’t have the rich history of a San Francisco, or even that of Dallas or Fort Worth. It’s a city that seemingly only exists to support pro sports teams and to employ Baseball Think Factory’s Bob Dernier. We may need to get a little more creative on this one, or at least extend our reach throughout the Metroplex.
Make your case for a new name below, and try to avoid any Cowboys references. Virtually the entire internet doesn’t like that, as far as I can tell.
Name: Globe Life Park in Arlington (previously: The Ballpark in Arlington Ameriplex Field in Arlington, Rangers Ballpark in Arlington)
Other Ballparks used by Club inCurrent City Arlington Stadium (1972-1993)
Distinctive Features: The grassy hill in center that serves as batter’s eye, where teenagers scramble to retrieve homers blasted to straightaway center.
Ballpark Highlights: In just the 54th game ever played there, Kenny Rogers threw a perfect game for the Rangers.
On June 12, 1997, Texas lefthander Darren Oliver delivered a pitch to San Francisco’s Darryl Hamilton, officially kicking off interleague play in Major League Baseball.
On July 1, 2006, Gary Matthews Jr. made one of the most incredible, and lucrative, catches in recent baseball history, robbing Houston’s Mike Lamb of a homer.
In 2010, in the 39th season of Texas baseball, Ranger fans finally got to witness a home postseason victory with a 7-2 win over the Yankees in the American League Championship Series. Texas had lost its first seven home playoff games, including two in the team’s ALDS win over the Rays.